It feels like spring. Though it's only March, the weather has warmed up considerably and today is even going to have a recrod high for this date in recorded history. However, it is not summer. I have been contunially disgusted throughout my school days this week, and i wish for it to change.
BOOTY SHORTS: Don't
Come on. It's been nice out for two days. Chances are that your legs are pasty white and milky and jiggly, and blinding to the eye. I don't want to see that. Neither does everyone else. They also don't want to see your ass cheeks hanging out of your shorts. Believe it or not, unless you have a toned butt, which you don't since i'm blogging about you, UNDERBUTT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE. It is not okay. I don't want to see your whiter-than-your-legs-butt or the celulite that comes with it. Shorts are fine, but not short shorts. Have a little decency. Please.
BLACK: Don't, unless you're Rachel Gilman.
Hello! It's spring time! It's time for colors! You should want to wear the bright colors that have been staring at you from your closet the entire winter but you couldn't wear because it was so gloomy outside. I know i do! Yes, i'm wearing black today, but i've got a red headband and overall shorts. What's your excuse?
TIGHTS/LEGGINGS: Don't, unless it's less than 60 degrees.
Your legs need the attention from the sun, trust me. While wearing a dress (notice how i said dress. not shirt.) you don't look nearly as innappropriate as the booty short girls. Stay classy. Yes, your legs may be white, but unless your dress is super short, which it shouldn't be, they aren't blinding and awful to look at. Let your legs and undercarriage be free(lol. undercarriage. Bridesmaids anyone?)! And again. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.
DRESSES: Do
This is the ultimate time of year for dresses. You can layer them with cardigans (which are always a yes) or just go free. Reminder though, it is not summer. Keep those barely-long-enough-to-cover-your-ass dresses for the summer when it's hot and you have an excuse to show your vagina to the world.
BOOTS: Don't, most of the time.
As i was walking upstairs with Rachel Gilman this morning, she was explaining her delimmas for getting ready for this glorious day. With it came the problem of boots. She couldn't wear her boots without her tights because it made her look like a lumberjack or something (don't take that literally, lumberjacks have beards). I concur. Though i will continuously break this rule, that doesn't mean you should. Unless you have the legs for boots with shorts or dresses, drop them for the spring. Your feet want to be free anyway! Sandals are the perfect excuse to go spend a ridiculous amount of money to go get a pedicure. Or have your mom paint your toenails. Pamper those feet and show them off! But don't touch me with them.
SPRING CLEANING: Do.
Clean out your closet and dresser and all of those clothes hidden under your bed. What you haven't worn in the last month, get rid of. You won't wear it anyway. This way you have room to go shopping and get new things with out having to buy more hangers. It always seems like i need more hangers. Damn nargles.
With those clothes, sell them at Plato's Closet, donate them to Goodwill, or see if your friends want dibs on any of your stuff. I'm having a garage sale sometime soon to sell my clothes, you can join me if youd like! The plus about that is the fact that you get to make money off of your clothes. Yay college!
Sarah =]
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