Grad Party Mania

The grad party season has begun. It is filled with free food (for the guests, not so much for the hosts), awkward family gatherings, people who you don’t know, and lots of money. The typical grad party is filled with good food, a shrine of pictures ranging from babyhood to graduation, tables and chairs, and cheesy decorations. For many, the stress of attending all graduation parties that they were invited to can be a little much. I suggest making a chart on Excel with the party times, people, and overlapping parties. Get organized.

At my graduation party, there will be no shrine of baby pictures. I see little of what they have to do with my graduating. Plus, I was not an attractive child. (Insert rude jokes about how I’ve never been attractive here). However, my mother has accumulated some of my awesome and many awards and framed them. Those will be on display. Prepare to be wowed by my awesomeness. (insert jokes about how i am not awesome here). I will have a poster board at my grad party, but it will be bare. At the bottom of my grad party invite, it says “bring your favorite photo memory of Sarah to ass to her collection!!” Bring photos bitches. I want that whole poster board filled with them.

Ever since I could make my own decisions, I decided, for some unknown reason, that I did not like birthday cake. So I would come up with some other treat to have for my birthday, with the same birthday cake concept because candles are mandatory. These ranged from cinnamon rolls to chocolate fountain. So guess what my grad party will be catering? All of my various birthday “cakes” made by none other than my mother and I. So get prepared for a feast of desserts.

Also, do not be offended if I do not attend your grad party. I find them awkward and uncomfortable, seeing as I don’t enjoy awkward social interactions. It’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t like the general idea of a grad party.

Who thought of the idea for a grad party? I do not like them. It isn’t fair that I have to spend money on a fancy ta-do just to recieve money. Not cool.

Sarah